While coming to grips with a new secondary cancer diagnosis I’m experiencing profound situational depression and sadness. Though strangely there is a slight lifting of the oppressive feelings with the pathology report indicating a return of the adenocarcinoma likely because I now know who my enemy is, the depression and sadness remain.
To keep myself in check and knowing I’m prone to isolating when I feel vulnerable and overwhelmed, I immediately instituted daily rules of engagement. I need order in the chaos so I can live and hopefully thrive. As my body heals from surgery, I’ve added additional rules to my list of three.
Rules of Engagement
Rule 1: When I get out of bed in the morning, I stay out of bed until bedtime.
Rule 2: I change out of my pajamas and get dressed.
Rule 3: I wash my face, brush my teeth, put on my usual makeup, and fix my hair.
Rule 4: Purposefully making “dates” with friends so I can remain connected to my precious community. Answering texts and phone calls from family and friends who are far away. Again to connect and limit my tendency to isolate.
Rule 5: Performing a needed task every couple of hours for at least 15 minutes so I don’t simply sit and read or zone out. This means writing down simple attainable tasks.
Rule 6: Adding in daily play and pleasurable tasks like reading, going for a walk, listening to music, or cooking.
This method works for me because I like a framework. I like tangible accountability. The order is grounding and feels safe. And yes, I’m under the care of a therapist with whom I presented my rules of engagement yesterday. She validated my method and even added to the list.
As I forge ahead in cancer treatment, I vow to be open about the good, bad, and ugly. I’m here to share in your community and to be enveloped with love and support from mine. Cancer, like other serious illnesses, is meant to be experienced in community. The support and love from community engagement are the energy boosters that make the work a little easier.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you sharing my posts.
If you are struggling with mental health or know someone who is, here is a helpful link.
Desirre Andrews, RN, BSN, CPM, RM
TikTok: @des.andrews
Instagram: @desirreandrews